Ahhhhh Family! A word that means so many things to so many different people. We live, breathe, and die for our families. And yet, they are the BEST at driving us absolutely crazy! Why is that?! Probably because there is something to be said for unconditional love. Don’t get me wrong, I know there can be extenuating circumstances to this, but for the most part, this is pretty accurate.
Let me tell you, though, that it isn’t always easy to look past the complete and total selfish and asshole behaviors they can have…especially when it comes from extended family members.
Two weeks ago, my yiayia (grandma) passed away. She had been living in a local nursing home for the last 3.5 years, and contracted Covid-19. She actually recovered from it a few weeks later, but the aftermath was too much for her weak and fragile body (she suffered from MS).The way she left us is not how any person is supposed to leave this world…alone, scared, angry, confused, and in an immense amount of pain. My family wasn’t naive enough to believe she was never going to die, and we weren’t even naive enough to think that she would be spared from this virus, or any virus, that is raging through the nursing home. However, the fact that she had to go alone, without anybody by her side, except her Bria family, was just not how this should have happened.
As if losing my grandma (during this f*cking insanity that is our lives right now) wasn’t bad enough, I then have to deal with the selfishness of some family members during this time, and the complete rudeness of other family members for their lack of reaching out, even through social media, about my grandma. I have had TWO, just TWO, people from my extended family reach out with condolences for my grandma. I got more calls, texts, and comments on social media from my husband’s family, from friends, and from people that I barely know! WTF?!
It’s not hard…..I know they all know….I know they all heard….I know they all read my posts. So why, why is it so hard to comment or shoot a text and say 5 simple words…”I’m sorry for your loss.” I may even be less salty about it if this year wasn’t just infested with death (and not only since the pandemic hit). Although, let’s be real…I probably would still be pissed.
To say I’m not hurt would be a lie. To say I’m not mad would be a lie, too. I feel like I now know where I stand. I’ll get over it, I know I will because I always do. However, I don’t think I can do the whole “forgive and forget” thing. I’ll forgive, but I definitely won’t forget…at least not in the foreseeable future. And while I will still be here for my family, and I will still do THE RIGHT THINGS by them, I won’t really be able to do it with my whole heart like I try to do. I’ve been burned by family before, and I’ve gotten WAY over it in the past, but this is just too much for me to get passed right now. It’s not right that I had to bury my grandma. It’s not right that we couldn’t have a normal service or traditional things. But it’s really REALLY not right that I didn’t get any sort of love or support from family. I think that hurts the most…..