As we come to the close of October 2020 and head into the holiday season, my head spins in circles as I try to wrap my mind around the shit show this year has been. Don’t get me wrong, some good has come out of this year…birthdays, weddings, pregnancies, babies being born, promotions to some, buying houses for others, moving, etc. But all that good has been drowned out by all the bad. Pandemic, deaths…lots of deaths, baby losses, school closures, business closures, job losses, money problems, more illness, an election year for the books, riots, looting, destruction of our cities, and so much divide.
As a mom of 3 small kids during all of this, I’ve literally held onto the motto: One Day At A Time. My life, my freedoms, my rights quickly being stripped from me. My mental health has gone to Hell in a hand basket and then did a one-eighty flip just to show much how strong I truly am. I’ve gone from crying to laughing to screaming to yelling to smiling and everything in between. My kids have literally seen me a low low point, my husband has worked his ass off to keep us well-provided and then came home to pick up my crumbling pieces. He’s held me as I’ve cried, he’s let me in on when he’s worried. He’s truly been my rock through ALL of this.
We have a 5 year old, a 3 year old, and an almost 2 year old. We started 2020 with the surgery of our newly turned 1 year that landed him in the hospital for a 2 night stay. We’ve dealt with all this crap 2020 has thrown at us with our kids as well as my husband working his ass off to help us stay afloat. We are now ending the year with a surgery that will keep me unable to do a lot of my motherly duties for a few weeks. I honestly don’t know what I’d do without my husband for this. I don’t know how I’m going to be able to relinquish control of the household that I work tirelessly to run as smoothly as possible….but I know I have to do this.
I have figure out that being a mom through all of this has been the toughest of it all. We have to keep pretending and hoping everything is okay and going to be okay while deep down we don’t know if it ever will be okay again. We have to wake up knowing life is different, but praying we can get some normalcy for our kids to make it through the day. We have to show our kids that NO matter what is being said and done and how we feel on the inside, we have to show them how to stand their ground RESPECTFULLY on the outside. We need to assure them that we WILL be okay no matter what gets thrown at at. We need to be the best AMERICAN example for them so they know why we are BEYOND BLESSED to live in the greatest country and that it’s GOOD to respect our flag, our military, our police and our fire personnel.
Motherhood is exhausting as it is. Now throw in the literal shit show of 2020, and I just want you all to know that you’re amazing, beautiful, and fierce. Keep on keeping on, mamas….we can do this!